Makes No Scents

Every morning, I wake up, and have a shower. I use scented shampoo and scented conditioner to make my hair smell nice. I use scented soap and scented body wash to make me smell nice all over.

Then I use a scented deodorant to keep me smelling nice all day. I also use a scented talcum powder for the parts of my body that sweat a lot and get sticky during the day. I shave with a scented shaving foam, and then use a scented aftershave to make my face smell nice.

I brush my teeth with a nice flavoured toothpaste, floss with a flavoured dental floss, and gargle with a strong flavoured mouthwash. This will keep my breath smelling nice all day, along with my nicely scented breath freshener.

Then I go back to my bedroom, which is kept smelling nice by a nicely scented room freshener. Just like my bathroom and kitchen, and all my other rooms.

I get dressed in my clothes, which have been washed with a nicely scented laundry detergent and equally nicely scented fabric softener. The clothes have been hanging in the wardrobe, which is kept smelling fresh with a special closet freshener I bought at the supermarket.

I put on my shoes, which have a special foot odour freshener inside them. I go out to my car, which has a special car freshener, shaped liked a pine tree, hanging from the rear vision mirror.

As I drive to the railway station, I light up a cigarette. And all the nice smelling, expensive perfumes and deodorants I have used are instantly banished to the foul smelling and obnoxious odour of the cigarette.

Makes no sense, really…

Categories: Humour

Tags: , , ,

9 replies

  1. Rather funny and all too true! Been there, done that, all too many times…


    • I have come to a happy medium. I smoke only when I go to the bar, which isn’t that often any more.

      Beer and cigarettes seems to go together, like meat pies and tomato sauce…


      • Lucky man – we can’t even smoke in a bar’s outdoors patio!!!


      • Many bars in Australia have outdoor smoking areas. We had problems with people smoking in the street, when they brought in no-smoking in office buildings. The cigarette butts were blocking up the storm water drains, so in some places, I believe smoking was also banned outside.


  2. Clever post. Did it make you consider giving up?! 🙂


    • As stated in a previous reply, I gave up sort of. I decided to stop because of the smell (straight after writing this article).

      I actually didn’t, and still don’t, have any cravings or miss it in any way. I still smoke on the odd occasions I have a beer, when I smoke not because I have to, but because I enjoy a cigarette with my beer.


  3. I kept wondering where you were going with this. Clever.


  4. But… it is a pleasure 🙂


  5. *smile Very good … and so true – ever smoked myself, but my mum has – she stopped when she was 87 – after 65 years of smoking. Just out the blue she stopped. She told me that it’s all up in the head. Personal I don’t understand who something that so many says taste good – can smell so bad. Thanks for a great post!


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