Fish flee after China claims Bay of Bengal (humour)

In developments that our editor refuses to call fishy, China‘s geopolitical muscle-flexing has led to a major exodus of marine wildlife.

Schools of petrified fish were observed to be fleeing in panic moments after Xinhua announced that the Bay of Bengal was now officially part of the South China Sea.

This is based on recently discovered evidence that Ming emperor Long Wu had once peed out of a porthole while sailing through.

Some of the slower moving fish are reportedly leaping into fishing nets.

Attempts to make the Indian aircraft carrier Admiral Gorshkov seaworthy have been speeded up.

The Sri Lankan Coast Guard has been placed on high alert, as has Angelina Jolie.

Meanwhile, back on dry land, seafood prices in India have skyrocketed. In Calcutta, hordes of prawn-deprived citizens confronted Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee, but were too terrified to say anything.

The Communist Party of India issued a statement condemning the incident, but no one knows what it said, since it was in Chinese.

The Indian government has reacted swiftly. In a hurriedly arranged press conference, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has promised to address the worried nation, “as soon as madam comes back from her morning walk.”



Categories: Humour

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

2 replies

Trackbacks

  1. Angelina Jolie and Kim Kardashian feud causes concern | Craig Hill
  2. The two-cow theory: Capitalism in America, China and around the world | China Daily Mail

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: